EQUILIBRIUM

Opposing forces come together. One is stronger than the other, thus crushing the balance of it all.

It is common that in unstable relationships, there is someone who is emotionally dependent, and one who is emotionally unstable. This instability and doubt generally causes the one who is sustaining the unstable person, to begin lowering the concept of their self worth, believing themselves not to be enough. From the outside, it is easy to detect that a “something” smaller requires a lot more strength from a “something” much heavier. The smaller object, of course, ends up suffering the most degradation and decay. However, it is true that effectively, both objects secure each other, no matter their levels of unevenness. It is difficult, if that is the only structure known to you, to find a new way to do, to be, to exist. In the long run, the discomfort becomes normal. The other constantly doubts, but the one that acts as support does not question the continued support since the dependency makes one unable to imagine moving from that specific place. One cannot bear the thought of something happening to the half and ending up feeling incomplete. It is this emotional dependency that leads to stress and anxiety. The same one that obliges individuals to place the spotlight and focus on another spot rather than oneself. And there lies the problem. We think we will find the one that satisfies us and fills us with joy when the only ones responsible for such a task are ourselves, and the longest and most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. In the end, there is no act more revolutionary than self love.

“It is as a sculptor that the Korean Choi Byung-hoon approaches furniture. His sleek organic forms are inspired by the dolmens at the sites of Gochang, Hwasun and Ganghwa in the south of the Korean peninsula. He uses simple materials such as wood or stone. His approach refers to Taoist philosophy and religion in search of harmony between humanity and nature.” - MAD

The unconventional bench is composed of two parts. Two
different materials, two different sizes. One couldn’t stand without the other. Its design makes it unique. It is different. The colors, the shades. It stands there capturing every
visitor’s attention. The redesign of the object, my own, is composed of human beings instead of rocks. A woman supporting a man, who is heavier than her. This makes her stability compromised. It doesn’t have a specific function but it does transmit a concrete message: for a relationship to be healthy there needs to be an equal balance between the two parts. Being honest, this idea was inspired by my own relationship trauma. As you may know, when you are heartbroken, everything you see can be related to that pain you’re constantly feeling. And I have been in this exact situation. I was reflecting and thinking about my breakup while looking at the art pieces in the museum. I was carrying the lasting effects my last relationship had on me with
every step that I took and thought that I had. As soon as I came across the Bench Afterimage I couldn’t help but wonder how such a small rock could support another much bigger one. It did not seem correct. Not at all. In a way I could say it affected me while seeing it. Of course, it was because I felt reflected by it, I felt I could see myself in this art piece. I felt
like a small rock. I felt the discomfort, the weight. I stood at the museum, empathizing with a piece of a bench, realizing that I have felt as if I have carried a gigantic weight on me for the sake of balance. While doing research I read a lot about love relationships and what effects they can have on human beings. But my approach is not on caring relationships but in those ones not as healthy as they should be. I am extremely interested in understanding how individuals process their own tumultuous relationships, and in what spaces they feel safe, heard, and understood. This specific situation allowed me to reflect on the weight I carried, but the idea that so many individuals share this feeling prompted me to continue my research. Relationships require us to be open with mind, heart, body and soul. They teach us about the other as much as they teach us about ourselves. They are a deep insight into another person’s world, a different reality from our own. A glimpse into another’s galaxy becomes an easy escape from the one we inhabit. A relationship is always a challenge, it pushes us to be authentic and vulnerable. The research I conducted as well as my own experience taught me a few things about love and troublesome relationships.I learnt that the first thing to do is identifying your emotions, both the good ones and the bad ones. Negative emotions help you recognize when things are not going in the right direction, they serve as a giant stop sign, impeding your heart to continue in that direction. I have always felt attached to the quote : “Gut feelings are guardian angels”, and to this day I stand by this phrase. It is imperative to be self aware in order to recognize your needs and prioritize your well-being. If you feel things are not quite right, it is because they are not. And nothing good will come from denying it. There should be a healthy balance between relationships and yourself. And this is not possible if there is emotional dependency in any of the involved. Being attuned to mistreatments in a relationship can be hard, but as soon as you decide to overcome that emotional dependency you start being able to have a positive mindset which can be extremely liberating. Your needs and happiness are your own responsibility, not someone else’s. Nonetheless, a good relationship reminds us that we deserve love and respect as we are, and that shouldn’t be questioned.

2021